In the Dark Night
by ae.vaga
Summary: Zero muses about his situation but is interrupted by Yuki. No lemons or anything but it is Zero x Yuki. Rated T just in case.


AN: Hello everyone. I don't like to have notes before my fics but I suppose it doesn't hurt to say something. I feel like Zero would be the type to question what was happening to him but his musings here are just a small sample of the questions he might ask himself... Hope you enjoy this bit of drabble.

**In the Dark Night**

With dead eyes, Zero stared at the ceiling of his bedroom. The cracks that ran along it seemed to start from the same point and terminate after numerous branches in arbitrary directions. Though his eyes burned with a desire to sleep, he continued to trace along these lines and access how their appearance varied under the soft moonlight that crept in through his window. The transition to being a vampire was not an easy one to make and for the third night in a row, Zero knew he should be sleeping but his entire being felt as though the long sullen nights were his prime hours.

The cold weight of the reality of his own life pressed upon Zero's exhausted mind. Born and raised to hate the being he'd been turned into. The hand he had splayed out across his bare chest rose and fell with the slow intake and release of breath. As he felt this, he pondered whether his lungs had changed to a vampire's lungs. He could _feel _that his blood was different – though he couldn't place what exactly was so different about it. Perhaps it moved slower through his veins, as he was essentially dead now and likely didn't need oxygen to power his bodily functions. But then, he wondered, why would he still be breathing in air? Then again, he could also tell of the quickening of his blood when he felt the _thirst_. Though this was nothing like the human version of a 'quick pulse.' This felt as though his heart was an engine pumping blood through his system so fast it might have surpassed the speed of sound. His heart... surely that had also turned 'vampire' along with the rest of him. What could it possibly mean to love someone with the heart of a vampire needlessly beating within his chest?

A wave of nausea and hatred flushed his soiled body and he clenched his fist angrily against his chest. Yuki... The rise of a feeling of love for her – which had perhaps been there all along, with him completely unaware. How could it be real if his heart was contaminated in such a way? He shook his head and flexed his fingers. An answer came just as easily as the question: his feelings must be tainted, just like everything else to do with him. For a brief moment, Zero wondered if his soul was also now ruined but set aside the notion as unimportant. Having a clean soul would do nothing to appease his grief and resentment now. It would do nothing to allow him to be with Yuki.

Yuki. The one person who actually tried to understand him, tried to get inside his broken down mind. But if she knew what was best for her, she would avoid him like all the rest. It was her light that made her so resilient. A light so strong that even his moody, perpetual darkness could not put out. And it was this girl, who should really stay away from him, that brought him life over and over again in his time of need. She was there to wash away the blood, hold his wounds until they ceased to ache, and now to offer her lifeblood to appease his aching hunger. And he could do nothing to refuse her offers – not that he'd ever really been able to refuse her at all. Even as his self-hatred threatened to overtake him, Zero always hated Kuran Kaname more. Partially for being a pureblood vampire – thus part of the same sphere as the wench who'd stolen his parent's lives – and partially for knowing that Yuki loved him so dearly. A pang of something he refused to name (but suspiciously resembled jealousy) jabbed at his heart.

Zero's train of thought often followed this path and he often ended at this same thought – with a stab of envy and hurt for not being the object of Yuki's fascination. But the thought he came to was always: how can he feel any sort of pang to his heart if it is just a carcass of vampire? Then again, some of the vampires of the night class seemed to have feelings for one another. Sort of, anyway. In his limited dealings with them, Zero had noticed an attachment to each other but the purpose of this was always ambiguous. As he was already aware, vampires were excellent imitators. Why should the imitation of feelings be any different than the impersonation of humanity? The circles his mind was running in were starting to make him feel sick again. Taking a deep breath, his chest and outstretched hand rose and fell. Focusing only on the inflation and subsequent deflation of his lungs, Zero closed his eyes. Perhaps he could finally get some rest...

As if a switch had been flicked, he became aware of a presence on the other side of his door. Hair standing on end, he held his breath to listen. The old door knob rattled as it turned and a familiar scent flooded his room. Yuki. Doing his best to remain still and feign sleep, Zero struggled to slow his baited breaths and the third floorboard of his room groaned underneath her slight weight. The door clicked shut behind her and her soft voice rang out in the darkness, though barely audible, "Zero? Are you awake?"

Still keeping the pattern in his breath, Zero got the distinct feeling that she hadn't wanted him to hear her question. The slow steps continued towards his humble bed – creaking at the sixth and ninth floorboards, as usual. His name was whispered into the thick air once more before the very edge of his bed dipped under the weight of his prefect companion. She sighed and muttered to herself, "I just need a moment... I didn't want to be alone."

His silly heart pounded at these words, attempting to break out of his very chest. Through slightly cracked eyelids, Zero could see the edge of her form trembling against the moonlight from his window. The pounding slowed to a fierce throb and a distinct rhythm he couldn't quite describe. He yearned for her that was for sure. After only a few moments he found himself unable to bare the silence, both physically and emotionally. Groaning slightly in an attempt to not frighten her, he mumbled, "Yuki? What are you doing here?"

Startled, she jumped off the bed and a blush dominated her features. Bowing to cover this, Yuki brought her hands together in front of her soft white gown and stuttered out an apology. Eying her curiously, Zero cleared his throat, "You probably shouldn't be here..."

His voice trailed off as his companion raised her eyes, now rimmed with tears. It didn't suit his Yuki to cry in such a way. Her eyes were meant to be filled with joy or determination, not such a gut wrenching sadness. Willing his voice to remain neutral, Zero propped himself up on one elbow and asked, "What's the matter? Or did you break into my room for other reasons?"

Eyes wide at his mischievous suggestion, Yuki shook her head, "I-I just had that dream again. And it felt so real. I started to run and when I realized it was just a dream, I was here. C-can I just stay here with you for a bit?"

Sighing heavily at the mess he knew this would turn him into, Zero shifted on the bed and patted it lightly, "Come on."

For a moment, the brunette appeared hesitant but upon seeing the calm, sleepy look in his eyes, she gingerly sat on the bed. He couldn't help but reflect that her slight form shrouded in moonlight appeared ethereal and stood out in stark contrast to his own filthy essence. Grimacing, he averted his gaze and rested on his side in quiet self-condemnation. Zero could only wonder at the reason for her presence in his room, on his bed. Yes, she had found her way to his door but turning the knob was another thing. Surely her beloved Kuran would be a better partner in her time of distress. More sympathetic, more aware of the correct things to say or do. And here he was criticizing himself with a beautiful woman sitting on his bed. Heaving a deep sigh, Yuki turned towards him and gently lowered herself into a reclining position. Now laying opposite each other, Zero's silent question was answered before he'd even parted his lips, "I just need to know that everything is going to be all right. And you always show me that."

Searching her amber eyes for truth, Zero found fear and hurt and perhaps a veiled desire. Gulping away his other half-formed questions, he reached out a tentative hand to trace across her warm cheek. Her mouth trembled as he reached the corner of it with his hesitant fingers and she managed to murmur, "Let me stay here with you tonight."

The request (though not phrased as such) caused his eyebrows to raise but at the return of her blush and downcast eyes, Zero realized he would still never refuse this girl anything she wanted. Resigning himself to a fate worse than death – which he'd truthfully already experienced – he reached a steady hand back through her silky hair to rest on her slim neck. Refusing to acknowledge the shock on her face, Zero pulled her tight against his lean frame, so that her head rested upon his arm and her breath warmed the skin at the centre of his rib cage. Resting his arm around her small waist, he was determined to relax and get some rest. He drew in his breath and released it, then repeated the motions. As he felt the tension drain from his shoulders, Yuki's soft hands tentatively pressed against his abdomen and she nudged her knees in between his. Sucking in a quick breath, all thoughts of peaceful rest bled from his mind. Yuki's taut body loosened in his embrace and only seemed to melt closer to him. This night _was_ going to be worse than death...


End file.
